Is Guilt Part Of Your Daily Life?
July 21, 2020
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Same brand name clothes, same expensive vacations, an abundance of activities, allowance, etc.? We constantly compare and want to give our kids the same things their friends have and if we can’t afford it, we feel guilty. We feel like we are not a good enough parent.
When I was a child I used to go to an expensive private school. The reason I went there was because it was a very good school and my parents wanted me to get the best education possible. Many children in this school had very rich parents, many were kids of Diplomats and Ambassadors. My family was financially comfortable, but we were not rich.
It often happened that my friends from school had more expensive clothes than me or were going on more expensive vacations than us, making me feel inferior because I was at an age where these superficial things were important.
As a consequence, I have always paid extra attention to make sure our son does not feel inferior to his friends. However, we can’t always afford to provide the same things that his friends have. This makes me feel guilty and like a bad parent as I relive the feelings I felt as a child. I want his life to always be happy. I want him to be accepted and included in good groups of friends. I felt responsible to provide him with the same things his friends have so he would live a happy life feeling included and accepted.
However, recently I realized that what I thought was important in order to be accepted is not the same as what my son thinks. As a kid I felt excluded because I didn’t have the same brand name clothes but my son could care less. You see, our children’s perception of what is important is not the same as ours. I thought he cared about expensive clothes, and I couldn’t afford those. However, in reality he wanted to have the same computer game. Frustrated and worried as I don’t have unlimited amounts of money to go buy expensive computer games, I started to beat myself up.
Then I found the perfect solution to this dilemma that enables our son to feel equal to his friends without costing us any extra money at all. Thanks to the tools I learned he can do the activities and have the things that are important to him without any additional strain on our bank account and I am finally guilt-free!
Sending You Much Love & Laughter
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