The 5 Love Languages

July 20, 2020


The 5 Love Languages

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Today I want to talk about Love Languages and how knowing your love language and those of your friends and family can:

  • Improve all your relationships
  • increase and strengthen the bond you have with your partner and children
  • decrease misunderstandings and arguments
  • increase harmony in your family
  • save you time and
  • increase your well-being and emotional balance.

Do you know the concept of love languages? If you don’t, you can read about it in Gary Chapmans book “The 5 Love Languages, The Secret To Love That Lasts” .

You could also do the quiz that determines which are your love languages. Click here:

Basically, there are five ways of showing love and affection and those same five ways can make us feel loved. However, not everyone shows and feels love in the same way.

These are the 5 love languages:

  • Words of affirmation
  • Quality Time
  • Receiving gifts
  • Acts of Service
  • Physical Touch

How do you show your love? Do you:

  • make compliments
  • plan a fun activity together
  • buy or make a gift
  • clean the kitchen/help with a chore or
  • give a hug or kiss?

Think about it. Which of these actions warms your heart?

Most people resonate with all of these 5 love languages but typically one or two are stronger.

Mine are Quality Time and Physical Touch while my husbands are Acts of Service and Words of Affirmation. (Our very own recipe for confusion and misunderstanding ????)

So, what happens if you don’t know your loved ones love language? You might show them love in your love language and they might not understand it (if that is not their love language). You think you have shown your love, but it has not been received, leading to frustration and misunderstandings.

For example, in the past my husband has spent hours on a weekend cleaning my car or repairing my bike while I was sitting in the house, angry and frustrated because he was not spending time with me.

He was telling me in his love language “Acts of Service” that he loved me, but I did not hear it because it was not my love language. All I could see was that he was not spending time with me (“Quality Time”).

I heard: “I don’t love you”.

So, what happened when he came back in the house?

We argued!

I felt unloved and grumpy which in turn made him really frustrated and confused because he had just spent hours showing me his love (he thought!).

What a muddle, right?! ????

Learning about love languages was a revelation! We finally understood each other and could show the other our love in THEIR love language, not in ours.

The result was harmony, a full love cup and in our case a lot of laughter, because we started to laugh about our little love-language-miscommunications.

This is a powerful tool for all relationships. Try it with your children and friends as well. And you might experience magic!

Sending You Much Love & Laughter

Sittah & Amy

LiLoLa programs include easy-to-follow modules that allow parents to change their own, as well as their children's, money handling habits step-by-step.